#The Message - "Never Let a Bird Die in Your Hand"

Deuteronomy 22:6-7 "(6) If a bird's chance to be before thee in the way in any tree, or on the ground, whether they be young ones, or eggs, and the dam sitting upon the young, or upon the eggs, thou shalt not take the dam with the young. (7) But thou shalt in any wise let the dam go, and take the young to thee; that it may be well with thee, and that thou mayest prolong thy days.

Picture if you will: relationships. Often, we find they start with friendships. I’m reminded of Isaac and Rebecca. I think you know the story found in Genesis 24, where these two had help in forming their relationship. She, Rebecca, was chosen by Abraham’s oldest servant to be a wife for Isaac. He met her outside of the city beside a well of water. The servant prayed to God for a sign and his prayers were answered. The servant was then invited to Rebecca’s home to meet the family, which resulted in a friendship being formed between Rebecca, her brother Laban, as well as the family.

Hopefully, we can agree that a friendship is the first thing to come before a relationship. I see you, you see me, we say and agree to ourselves “we like what we see”. Now, we set out to get to know each other better. Over time, we establish and develop a relationship. Things have had to be good because we arrived at the point of having an established relationship. Time passes. Fun memories and great times together have taken place. Things are progressing along. One day we fall out by way of some disagreement of some sort. If the disagreement isn’t totally resolved and we agree to forgive one another sincerely with a genuine truth, there will be suppressed bitterness and resentment lingering. These ill feelings will grow and fester over time. This once great relationship will become toxic. These issues left unaddressed will continue to take on more toxicities, causing more bitterness and damage. Now we find ourselves wanting to hurt one another - you hurt me, then I hurt you back. We seek to continue in the relationship for the sake of familiarity, tolerating the foolishness; settling. We compromise our beliefs. Everything that we were taught as children by our parents and siblings we forgo. Even lessons we've learned from previous experiences we choose to abandon so we may hold onto this relationship gone bad. Exchanging a long-term profit for an immediate gain.

There is a saying in life “if you keep doing things the same old way, you're going to get the same old results. Disregarding the signs, we continue in this unhealthy relationship until we come to a point of no return. Now comes physical, mental, and emotional scarring - a universe of debris filled with hurt and pain.

But…according to Deuteronomy 22:6-7, there is a law and the context of this law deals with conservation of animal life.  For instance, if you come upon a mother bird sitting up on her baby eggs, and you killed her for food or whatever you would also be killing her eggs. Removing the mother, the source of life or life giver, for the eggs would also be destroying any hopes the eggs have for survival. Therefore, making extinct.  With that being said, I would like to draw your attention to this little fact. the word conserve means “to protect” from harm or destruction. some synonyms of the word conserve are ‘preserve, protect, and maintain’.   So, let's look at this from another viewpoint, one involving human life - conserving relationships and friendships. The devastating effects of bitterness and resentment in a relationship can also destroy friendship, making it extinct. If in fact the friendship was established before the relationship, then the friendship hinges on the relationship and its success. Before the relationship was formed, there was a friendship.  Now there's something here to preserve, the friendship of course. The friendship must be set apart from the relationship before the whole is destroyed; set apart from that which was at risk of being destroyed. It now becomes important for the sake of our future endeavors that may have taken on life from the relationship, that we maintain friendship. Romans 12:18 says “if it be possible as much as lieth in you live peacefully with all men”. Because the persons are connected to other persons who are also connected in friendship. Sometimes some of those same people are connected to us in friendship. So, if I kill this friendship, I also killed the other friendships and relations that I have connected with others we may have known together. I know that people say what you and that person do has no effect on me and what we have. But we find in life that's not always true, especially regarding children connected to these toxic relationships. In any case, it can be quite uncomfortable to all affected by the fallout of this relationship. 

The law in Deuteronomy was written regarding conservation of animal life. In my memoirs I’m referencing human life and the conservation of relationships and friendships.

My father Dr. Purvis Givens used to say, “never let a bird die in your hands”. In other words, if your relationship is gone bad, try to save the friendship. The life of the relationship was and is, in the life of the friendship. don't just stay there until there's nothing left. in short, I suggest that before we lose “the whole” which consist of the friendship and a relationship, let’s just part ways and salvage the friendship so that life can continue in future relations.

Simply put, “Never let a bird die your hands”. Don’t continue until death comes to the friendship.


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